From pragmatism to passion: changing partner preferences in Dutch matrimonial and contact advertisements, 1841–1995

Abstract

ABSTRACT This article explores the evolution of partner preferences in the Dutch mating market from 1841 to 1995, focusing on the rise of the cultural ideal of love-based partner selection. The study examines two hypotheses related to partner selection in modernization theory: the romantic-love hypothesis and the status-attainment hypothesis. These hypotheses are tested with descriptive and multivariate analysis using a database on matrimonial and contact advertisements. The study shows that the transition from instrumental to romantic partner choice was a gradual process, that in the Netherlands only gained momentum in the latter half of the twentieth century coinciding with processes of individualisation and the rise of the welfare state, a century later than earlier literature suggests. First instrumental preferences declined, then romantic preferences grew in importance. Furthermore, while the status-attainment hypothesis predicts an increase in educational preferences over time, the growth was slower and later than expected. These findings challenge both the romantic-love and status-attainment hypotheses and suggest an adjusted combined hypothesis. The study also highlights the role of social status and gender in partner preferences. Advertisers from higher social classes were more likely to express romantic preferences, indicating that wealthier individuals were earlier on inclined to turn love into the cornerstone of their relationships. Women exhibited a stronger emphasis on social status and educational level than men, highlighting gender role ideas of the time with women’s financial dependence guiding their preferences for a partner that could provide for them and their children. Moreover, the research demonstrates that religion and civil status did not significantly influence the internalization of love-based partner choice. The article concludes by emphasizing the significance of matrimonial and contact advertisements as valuable sources for comprehending the quest for a partner in the past and suggests potential avenues for future research based on these advertisements.