For the Sake of Parents? Marriages of Convenience between Lesbians and Gay Men in China

Abstract

A marriage of convenience involves a lesbian and a gay man. They know about each other’s sexual orientation but typically do not disclose it to parents. Prior research has often cited parents as a primary source of pressure driving Chinese lesbians and gay men into marriages of convenience. However, parents are also found to be a key source of support for the Chinese LGBTQ+ community. Incorporating perspectives of parents of lesbian and gay individuals, whose voices have rarely been represented, I examine how these parents, in addition to lesbians and gay men, make sense of marriages of convenience. Such marriages imply the tension facing sexual minorities between preserving sexual autonomy and maintaining intergenerational harmony. This tension is fundamentally shaped by the ingrained institution of different-sex marriage that foregrounds reproduction. Marriages of convenience likely consolidate heteronormativity through day-to-day rituals. Both sexual minorities and their parents may internalize heteronormative values and label them as “parental pressure” leading to marriages of convenience. Yet there are prospects that both generations actively navigate the unease of conflicting family/personal interests and leverage intergenerational support to fight against heteronormativity. Drawing on neo-familism, I highlight how familism and individualism are intertwined to shape Chinese families and sexualities.