Flirting with resistance: children’s expressions of autonomy during middle childhood

Leon Kuczynski,Robyn Pitman,Kate Twigger

doi:10.1080/17482631.2018.1564519

Abstract

ABSTRACTPurpose: Developmental research suggests that children’s early non-compliance can be understood as “resistance”, an agentic response to parental control where children express their autonomy within a close relationship context. Research with toddlers and adolescents suggests that children’s resistance strategies can be differentiated using the dimensions of assertiveness, social skill, and overt versus covert expression. This study explores children’s strategies for expressing resistance during the neglected period of middle childhood.Method: Forty children, 9–13 years of age, participated for 1 week in a study focused on children’s experiences of socialization and parent–child relationships. Procedures included a 5-day event diary, and a 1-hour semi-structured interview about the rules and expectations in their home and their strategies of resistance.Results: Thematic analysis identified a rich repertoire of strategies for resisting unwelcome parental demands. These included overt resistance, such as negotiation, argument, and expressions of non-acceptance and covert resistance such as covert transgressions and cognitive non-acceptance of parental demands when compelled to comply.Conclusion: The findings were interpreted as reflecting children’s development of assertiveness and social skill as they expressed their autonomy in the interpersonal context of the interdependent but asymmetrical relationship with their parents.

Highlights

The words “non-compliance” and “disobedience”, when referring to children’s responses to parental requests, are usually associated with negativity, problem behaviour, and deviance
This study addressed a gap in research on children’s strategies for resisting their parents’ attempts to control them in the developmental interval between early childhood and adolescence
The assertive strategies reported by our middle childhood participants, including negotiation, argument, and expressive resistance, have close parallels in form and function to similar strategies found in early childhood (Kuczynski & Kochanska, 1990; Kuczynski et al, 1987) and adolescence (Parkin & Kuczynski, 2012)

Summary

Introduction

The words “non-compliance” and “disobedience”, when referring to children’s responses to parental requests, are usually associated with negativity, problem behaviour, and deviance These meanings originate in cultural norms regarding children’s obedience to family and submission to parental authority (Trommsdorff & Kornadt, 2003) and idealized conceptions of parental firm control in the parenting literature (Baumrind, 2012; McMahon & Forehand, 2005). The emergence of “no” at around 18–24 months was interpreted as a manifestation of children’s attempts to assert themselves as individuals with needs that are separate from those of their parents This idea was subsequently followed up in observational studies of children’s resistance to parents in toddler and preschool children (Crockenberg & Litman, 1990; Kuczynski & Kochanska, 1990; Kuczynski, Kochanska, RadkeYarrow, & Girnius-Brown, 1987). Parallels can be made between childhood resistance and adult concepts such as reactance to control (Brehm, 1981), selfdetermination (Deci & Ryan, 2000), and resistance to oppression (Goffman, 1961; Scott, 1990; Wade, 1997)

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