Family Values and Family Change

Abstract

DAN A. CHEKKI The family in recent years, has been going through a process of rapid change. There has been much debate about family values by religious and political leaders, feminists and youth. Traditional and modern values clash resulting in further confusion and controversies. The mass media portrays the apparent lack of consensus on a common set of family values. It is obvious that diversities of religion, education, class and culture tend to influence family values of different groups and communities. Here an attempt is made to present an overview of the Hindu view of life with special reference to marriage and family life as depicted in the Scriptures. References will be made to recent changes in Hindu family values and behavior; and the contemporary Western culture and its problems. The concluding comments emphasize the relevance of the Hindu family values in the contemporary world. The ideal Hindu life is influenced by the Scriptures such as the Vedas (1000 B.C.), the Upanishads, the Gita and so on. These scriptures (Kapadia, 1966) emphasize the importance of knowledge; active work; sacrifice and service to others; and culminate in renunciation. The ideal Hindu life consists of four Stages: (1) the period of discipline and education; (2) the life of the householder and the active worker; (3) retreat for the loosening of social/material bonds; and finally, (4) the life of meditation in solitude (Prabhu, 1958). During the second stage a person is supposed to live a full mantal ie. inc fe of the householder is considered to be the mainstay of the four stages of life, is gives unity and cohesion to the social fabric. The Hindu ideal emphasizes at one must be active and perform one's duty, but the work must be selfless, not for rewards. The traditional Hindu marriage is viewed as a social charter for the establishment of a family. The scriptures stress the sanctity of marriage and the mily. Marriage is regarded not so much as union between two individuals as the establishment of an enduring bond between two extended families. Social relationships of mutual obligation and service are established by its means. Children are a source of material and spiritual sustenance for the parents. The married couple are viewed as companions with similar interest. The two should supplement each other and achieve harmony in their married life. The marital bond is intended to contribute to both life and mind. True love is a union of soul and body and asks for nothing in exchange. It is a partnership in which patience is called for; marriage is not an experiment but a profound experience which, though tender and fragile at first, grows through mutual understanding, love, cooperation, sharing and sacrifice. The Hindu ideal of marriage Is essentially a fellowship between a man and a woman who seek to live creatively in partnership for the pursuit of the main goals of life; (1) righteousness-virtue, good conduct (Dharma); (2) material gains-wealth (Artha); love-pleasure (Kama); (4) liberation from the material world (Moksha); (de Bary, 1958). Marriage is regarded as a social duty toward the family and the community, and individual interest is regarded as subordinate to the family. The ideal values stress the need for virginity, chastity, abstinence and marital fidelity. Different views have been expressed concerning me status of women (Pinkham, 1941). On the one hand it is enjoined that she should be shown the utmost respect while on the other, she is said to deserve no freedom. This contradiction is more apparent that real. The emphasis seems to be not so much on the denial of any freedom to a woman as on the duty of her near ones to protect her at all costs. Manu Smriti (Buhler, 1806), (200 B.C. - A.D. 100) states: Divinity resides in families in which the women are respected; where they are not, there is ruin. Women must be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers-in-law who desire great good fortune. …