Family Life in an Anti-Family Setting: A Critique of Marriage and Divorce

Abstract

The high rates of divorce and remarriage indicate that many spouses are unhappy in their experience offamily life, yet they continue to look to marriage for certain satisfactions. After examining the ideology of the family it is concluded that people are taught to meet their emotional needs within marriage: the desire for love, intimacy and a sense of social belonging motivate people to marny. The failure offamily life is traced to its complex dependence on the capitalist corporate order and the particular sex-based division of labor that is a product of that order. Family members arefaced with demandsfrom external organizations which prevent them from responding to each other's personal needs; therefore, thefamilyfails to provide the hoped-for satisfactions. This failure is interpreted by most people as a private problem and the spouses divorce and remarry in an attempt to find fulfillment in family life. Particular emphasis is given to the woman's special responsibility for the emotional life of her spouse and children. The United States has among the highest divorce rates of all industrialized countries, but it also has among the highest marriage and remarriage rates (Carter and Glick, 1970). These rates are not independent of each other, they are part of the same phenomenon. A common ideological and organizational basis leads to marriage, to divorce and to remarriage. The American ideology of the family emphasizes personal fulfillment as the reason for maintaining family relationships and love as the basis for marriage (Theodorson, 1965). Most people in our society do marry, probably expecting what *This paper was supported by other members of the Women's Research Center through their criticisms and encouragement. Special thanks to Howard Ehrlich for his comments on an earlier version of the paper.