Falling Out of Love?

Abstract

THE individual in such a way as to render him or her incapable of acting or feeling in a reasonable manner. Often, when teenage couples fall in love, they tend to stray away from Exploring the Unconscious Mind their existing friendships in order to indulge in their new- found union with another’s soul. A new sense of self com- Before explaining the effects of the unconscious, it prising both bodies emerges as emotions of trust, care, and is important to show that the unconscious does exist. Many compassion are elevated. Some couples describe this state psychoanalysts have endorsed its presence and have theo- of being as subliminal. Also, outsiders can misconstrue this rized its purpose for centuries. Freud perceived the uncon- state to be irrational. This belief of irrationality leads some scious as “withholding feelings, memories and desires well- cultures to de-emphasize unions based on love and to seek buried below the surface of conscious awareness” (Matta arranged marriages instead. Nonetheless, even these cul- 2006). The research and evidence-based 21st century, how- tures may attest to the fact that love does exist. Easterners ever, demands more than just a theory as presented by and Westerners may have different conceptions of what Freud and others. Therefore, cognitive neuroscientists con- love is, but humans are universally awed by its strong pres- tinue to conduct research to locate the precise residence of ence. the unconscious mind in the human brain. For instance, a There is also a global belief that “Love is blind.” study conducted by Dr. Badgaiyan of Harvard Medical However, is it really the case that people are blindly affect- School found that conscious recognition of stimuli is in fact ed by love? In our educated society in which intellectuals not necessary for activation of cognitive processing challenge all ideas, it seems as though a concept such as (Badgaiyan 2006). This indicates the presence of subliminal this cannot survive without rational justification. Thus, sci- recognition. Moreover, in another study, The Architecture entists and social psychologists have come to the forefront of Cognitive Control, scientists found that it is the pre- to change this statement from “Love is blind” to “Love is frontal cortex of the brain that is most activated in response unconscious.” This can more carefully exemplify the com- to unconscious stimuli (Koechlin, Ody, Kouneiher 2003). plex phenomena of love as controlled by subliminal forces Cognitive experiments thus suggest that the uncon- that are difficult to realize through the rational, conscious scious may exist, but this does not yet provide evidence for mind. the age-old belief that the unconscious can actually process While many people readily believe that falling in emotions of love. Any human can love is blind and inexplicable, attest to the grandness of thoughts they paradoxically give con- People tend to justify break-ups by motivated by feelings of love. Is it scious rationalizations for true that the unconscious can be break-ups, divorces, or simply believing that they have simply so vast as to automatically execute falling out of love. Thus, peo- “fallen out of love,” which might be care, hatred, trust, and jealousy? ple commonly assume that at Freud, at least, believed this to be a misconception. some point in the relationship the case. In Project for Scientific the unconsciousness of love Psychology, Freud states, “We are effectively cognitive ice- disappears and that love starts to be driven by awareness. bergs, with most of our 'thoughts' occurring below the Yet, as this article will proceed to explain, the phenomena water line, out of conscious perception” (Freud 1895). of love often never ceases to be subliminal. When couples Besides this qualitative aspect, we can try to quantify the separate, they usually inaccurately attribute the loss of love depth of the unconscious by measuring the neurological to situational shortcomings of the partner when, in fact, it is activity of the unconscious mind in response to certain the activities and feelings generated by the unconscious stimuli. Laul and Passigham conducted a study in which mind that deem a relationship to be successful or futile. they used subliminal priming (exposing the subject to When underlying feelings of incompatibility surface, the unconscious stimuli to be recalled later unconsciously), to couple admits that the relationship is, in colloquial terms, illustrate that a “great deal of complex cognitive behavior no longer ‘working out.’ This article will suggest that many could take place without conscious awareness” (Laul and of these relationships stopped working because the uncon- Passingham 2007). L ove is a human emotion that can captivate an Self-justified reasons are often not the true causes of disappearing love. by Maansi Shah Falling Out of Love? MIND FALL THE MIND scious finally reached the realization that the individual’s necessary self-needs of love were not being met appropri- ately.