Exiting Orthodox Judaism

Abstract

The question of the nature of the boundaries between the Jewish community and the outside world is present throughout Jewish history. So too is the related question of the status of those who leave the Jewish community. However, the motivation for exiting, the nature of the exiting process, and the options available to the person once they exit are shaped by the particular historical period in which they live. For example, some young Jewish women in Western Galicia in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries who felt trapped in their community and were desperate to escape unwanted marriage arrangements took refuge in a Kraków convent and sometimes converted to Christianity. Similarly, those leaving Orthodoxy in Europe in the early twentieth century often did not find a welcoming secular world ready to embrace them. This is one of the reasons many Jews joined secular Jewish political movements like the Bund in Poland. The situation today for those who exit—a process often referred to by members of the Orthodox community as going “off the derech,” off the correct path, or simply going “OTD”—is drastically different. Given the secular and multicultural nature of most countries where contemporary Jews reside, once an Orthodox Jew decides to leave his or her community and upbringing, the “outside” world does not place formal barriers in the way of the exit. Rather, outsiders are often intrigued by exiters and tend to try to help those exiting. These days, the major barriers are the structural ones created by the Orthodox communities themselves to try to prevent exit, such as the threat to intervene in custody battles should one parent exit and the other remain in the community. There are also internal psychological barriers each exiter faces consisting of the negative depictions of the outside world, the taboo against leaving one’s community, and the dire predictions of the life trajectory of those who do leave. Exiters must also confront the practical challenges of becoming accustomed to new styles of clothing, food, and popular culture previously strictly forbidden to them. Once exiters leave their community, they must also negotiate their relationship with their Orthodox family, who often feel betrayed and ashamed of them. A note on language: although some contemporary Orthodox exiters consciously embrace the term “OTD” to destigmatize it, given that it can be perceived as condescending it will generally be avoided throughout this entry. Also, following the limitations of contemporary scholarship, this bibliography primarily cites works on exiters from Ashkenazi Judaism.