Ethical Relational Space: Autoethnographic Reflections on Learning From Indigenous Mothering

Abstract

In this paper, I aim to centre and attend to the transformative possibilities and power of the intimate, everyday spaces of parent-child relationships in the journey of mental and spiritual decolonisation. Drawing on the concept of “Ethical Space” from Cree legal scholar Willie Ermine, I share what I have learned from insights and wisdom of Indigenous women mentors and writers centring mothering, parenting and family in the work of healing, decolonisation and resurgence. I share two autoethnographic vignettes of my own mental and spiritual decolonising journey, as this is interwoven with my experiences as a mother. My journey grew from, and continues to reciprocate within, the relationships and strength of Stó:lō Téméxw (Stó:lō lands and world) on the Pacific Northwest coast in lands now known as Canada. I particularly share from within my mentorship and friendship with Ts’elxwéyeqw matriarch Lumlamelut (Wee Wee Láy Láq), and in learning from the writing and teaching of Michi Saagiig Nishnaabeg scholar, writer and artist Leanne Betasamosake Simpson. Both emphasise children’s honoured place in family and community and an understanding that governance, leadership, and respect for others’ self-determination begin in the cradle of family relationships. I begin to see how the ways of being my mothering passes on are part of what upholds the contemporary colonial reality – and to experience the cracks that make space for other ways of being to emerge. Through sharing pieces of my journey, I aim for readers to witness the power of opening oneself to look into the mirrors held up in relational spaces across differences, and call for a deep reflection on the cultural beliefs and socialisation that shape parenting and family life. From here, we can question whether the beliefs and ways we see in the mirror are who we want ourselves and our children to be/become and what we hope and dream for the collective future they are already part of creating.