Abstract
Widowhood has been on increase globally and Kenya as nation is not exceptional. The state of widowhood globally has been made worse during this period of Corona Virus Disease which started in Wuhan in China in December 2019 (WHO, 2019). Losing a spouse through death is quite emotive and may affect the bereaved persons’ psychosocial wellbeing as well as coping mechanism. In Meru community of Kenya, few researches have been done on counselling as a coping mechanism of widowhood. The study’s main purpose was to determine how loss and grief counselling is used as a coping mechanism by comparing widowers and widows in Meru County Kenya. A descriptive survey was employed in the study where ex post facto’s causal-comparative research design was appropriately used. A total population of 80,332 widowed persons in Meru County was targeted. For comparison purposes, a total sample size of 384 respondents was used; half from each gender. Questionnaires and Focus Group Discussions were used to collect data from respondents based on gender. Both descriptive and inferential statistics were employed. Widows sought for loss and grief counselling more at 61% than widowers at 47 % and from FGDs more than 70% and less than 20% respectively. From t-test results there was a statistically significant difference which favored widows than widowers in seeking for counselling services. In conclusion, the study findings may assist the widows and widowers to seek timely loss and grief counselling services as a positive coping mechanism. Key words: Widowhood, loss and grief counselling, coping mechanism, psychosocial wellbeing, widow/ widowers.  
Highlights
INTRODUCTIONAnxiety or numbness portrayed by the trauma survivor (Magnuson and Enright, 2008). A grieving widow or widower might show strong feelings or no feelings interchangeably showing how differently people cope with loss and grief
People from diverse cultures react to various losses in a variety of ways as well as experiencing grief differently
Loss and grief counselling is the process of helping the widowed men and women to go through all the bereavement stages
Summary
Anxiety or numbness portrayed by the trauma survivor (Magnuson and Enright, 2008). A grieving widow or widower might show strong feelings or no feelings interchangeably showing how differently people cope with loss and grief. This brings healing to the person in grief and is a stage marked with calmness and feelings of normalcy Coping with such a loss is an individual decision and require counselling services as a positive coping mechanism (Axelrod). Grief or trauma as an individual experience; which can be dealt with in isolation and regular life resumes after it has been appropriately addressed without considering African cultures which are communal in nature (Breen and O'Connor, 2007) To fill this gap, this paper compared widows and widowers in seeking loss and grief counseling services as widowhood coping mechanism. Seeking counselling services can help to separate realistic from unrealistic guilt by asking questions during the recoil stage, where many widowed persons are not prepared for the negative feelings that are experienced.
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