Domestic violence and rejection of LGBT children in Serbia

Abstract

The paper provides analysis of different forms of violence against LGBT children within the regime of so-called forced normalization (Butler) committed by their parents and other close relatives. These regimes are often rigid normative type, much less of the flexible type of normalizing. The term 'production of the body' in the case of domestic violence against LGBT chil­dren comprises rejection, threats, forced medical treatment, various forms of physical and psychological violence and ejection from the parental home. The patriarchal model of domination and subordination (defined by A. Rich), and lack of knowledge within homophobic social environment are identified as the main causes of domestic violence against LGBT children. It is also supported by authoritative promotion of unscientific, homophobic alleged experts, who spread prejudice in media, pretending to protect 'traditional Serbian religious and moral values', calling parents to undertake 'proper measures' in bringing their children up as heterosexuals. The situation is similar in the region, for example. in B&H, according to the survey results, finding himself in a position to know that their child is homosexual, 70.4% of people would try to convince their own children that it is wrong to be homo­sexual, and a smaller proportion (13.2%) would be accepted or supported own child in this situation. The presented data from primary, parent families of the LGBT chil­dren, is selected from the most recent, publicly disclosed data, i.e. those who are found in the media or on web portals. They generally contain authentic statements LGBT parents and their children, statistical data showing current situation and trends. They originate from the documentation group for LGBT rights in Serbia, B&H and Croatian, American and Serbian PFLEG support group for parents of LGBT children, as well as by the author's many-year collected memories of the LGBT adults in their childhood and coming out process. To become adults as equal citizens and the belief that they are enti­tled to, LGBT youth should primarily be accepted, supported and protected in their primary, parent families: modern society offers also models of support in taking personal responsibility for ones own life and its direction in accor­dance with the principle of individual flexibility. Thus, flexible normalizing regimes range from ignoring, through acceptance, to active protective role. Changing the education system, reducing the overall level of homophobia in the public communication space, temporar shelters for homeless LGBT children and youths, support groups for parents, have been identified as one of the possible directions of improving the violent family environment in which currently LGBT children and youth grow up in Serbia. The most interesting model against family violence is presentation of experience of those parents who have embraced the diversity of their LGBT children. These are models that could be used as examples of good practice among parents in having difficulties in making their decisions regarding LGBT children. The experiences of these parents generally offer answers when and how it came to the acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity of their children, what was crucial to do so despite homophobic social environment, how did they decided to opt for a protective parental role, and what happened after the decision on acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity of their children. 'I sincerely believe that we must not tolerate discrimination against any person or group in our country. Such behavior with them always brings pain and continued intolerance'. (PFLAG, 2014) 'The important thing for us was the cooperation and mutual support. Talk and learn together. It took us some time to cope with this but it has strengthened our relationship and help us to be more tolerant towards each other. Our children are and will be the most important thing in of our lives. The fact that they are safe, healthy and happy for my husband and me is the most important thing.'(PFLAG, 2014).