Divorce and the catholic church

Abstract

The breakup of a marriage is always a difficult experience for the parties involved. Feelings of guilt and failure accompany the divorce. If another marriage follows, it is often begun with anxiety and fear of yet another failure. Divorce is especially traumatic for Roman Catholics, because of the church's teaching about the indissolubility of marriage. Actually, it is not so much divorce that the Roman Catholic Church objects to as it is remarriage after divorce. The church certainly does not approve of divorce; a less public form of separation would be preferable, but often enough legal considera tions?property settlements, custody of the children, and the like?make a civil divorce the most realistic course of action for individual Catholics. A divorced Catholic can still be an active member of the church, can still receive the sacraments, and can still consider himself just as much a Catholic as he was before his divorce. The only provision is that the divorced Catholic does not remarry while his first spouse is still alive. A divorced Catholic who has remarried often feels that his church has abandoned him. This is true even when the Catholic in question has no particularly strong loyalties to the church. Even a nonpracticing Catholic knows that the church will always be there and he can always return to the sacraments at any time. (Before Vatican Council II, one could have added: and everything would be exactly the same as it was the day he left.) The feeling is quite reassuring: to know that one can always return, even if one does not want to yet. But once a divorced Catholic remarries, even that reassurance is gone; he can no longer receive the sacraments. If the sense of abandonment by his church is painful to the nonpracticing Catholic, it is doubly painful to the Catholic who has been practicing his faith. Some people?Catholics among them?readily question the theological premises of the church's teaching about the indissolubility of marriage and predict a change in that teaching. If the church ever should allow remarriage after divorce, it would not be the first time that Rome's understanding of the Christian message has evolved on a particular point. Nonetheless, as helpful as speculations about the future may be, divorced Catholics who have remarried must come to terms with the church's teaching as it exists