Abstract
I remember my first diet. It certainly wasn't my last. I couldn't have been more than age 12, and it was probably more like 9. My mother decreed I would write down everything I ate for a day. This didn't last long before she shouted at me for being stupid and a liar. I'd not written down that I'd had 5 grapes, as I didn't think it counted, you see. Heinous crime, that. But at least I didn't have to do it anymore, as it was loudly and shamefully declared I couldn't be trusted.
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