Abstract

In long-term relationships, sexual desire discrepancy (SDD) occurs frequently between partners. For many, this discrepancy is persistent and significant, and a source of distress. However, the dynamics of SDD in couples and, specifically, its implications for sexual distress have received scant empirical attention. This study examined the associations between SDD and sexual distress from one day to the next and over a 12-month span, in a community sample of 229 same-sex/gender and mixed-sex/gender couples. Two datasets were collected: A 35-day daily diary and a 12-month longitudinal survey. In both, dyadic sexual desire and sexual distress were measured, and SDD was calculated as the absolute value of the difference in sexual desire between partners. Directional associations between SDD at one time point and sexual distress at the next time point were assessed using multilevel, 2-pane autoregressive cross-lagged models, controlling for within-variable changes, dependencies between partners, and partner age. Results were consistent with the study's hypotheses: Couples' SDD on one day predicted sexual distress on the next day. Similarly, SDD at baseline predicted sexual distress 12months later. Participant gender, partner gender, and couple type did not significantly moderate these associations, nor did differentiating partners based on higher and lower average sexual desire. The reverse associations (i.e., sexual distress predicting SDD) were non-significant. The associations' directionality and the fact that they remained significant over days and months were consistent with the proposal that SDD is a precursor of sexual distress. The present study provides support for dyadic conceptualizations of sexual desire. Clinically, findings suggest that therapeutic approaches should address issues with sexual desire and sexual distress by focusing not on the individual, but on the couple.

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