Dependent Personality and Interpersonal Dependency: At the Intersection of Developmental, Identity and Interpersonal Aspects

Abstract

The author examines dependency as a pathological personality feature—one that originates in failures of developmental need fulfilment—and shows how the subsequent identity impairment may influence adult relationships. The author argues that, developmentally, the caregiver's unresolved pathological dependency causes a disruption in the child's need gratification as the child's focus is turned towards the caregiver's pathological needs. Internal object relations become characterized by a dependent internal object and need‐fulfilling self‐representation, which are supported developmentally by the disavowal of authentic dependency needs. In adult life, the individual's identity and self‐esteem, through projections, become dependent on interpersonal relationships, which are used to control internal cohesion at the expense of authentic attachment and intimacy. Pathological dependency is thus intrapsychic rather than merely interpersonal. The author also explores the concept of excessive independence, that is, through identification with independence as an ego ideal, considered a defensive attempt to disidentify from an underlying pathological dependency.