Covey's 7 Habits Can Guide Working Mothers

Abstract

There can be a huge difference between what's urgent and what's important. It all hinges on what you value. Pulled in endlessly by their families, their bosses and their own needs and desires, working mothers can be forgiven for getting confused between the two. Speaking at the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA) conference held in Phoenix in March 2012, Dr. Michelle Pickett and Dr. Susana Das Neves discussed Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People from the perspective of working mothers. Both work at Northern Illinois University, where Pickett is director of the academic advising center and Das Neves is an academic advisor and counselor. “Being a mother doesn't define me at work,” said Das Neves. “Working doesn't define me as a mother.” It helps to have a boss who understands her two roles. “Discussing work/life balance and actually practicing it are two different things,” said Pickett. “It takes time to find a way to do it.” Habits are defined as the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do it) and desire (want to do it). Applying Dr. Stephan R. Covey's seven habits along with our skills/ knowledge/desires ensures that we focus on what's important to us, not just urgent. Proactive responses result from carefully considered values, not by a “circle of concerns.” To gain more control, we need to increase our circle of influence. Feelings that are influenced by circumstances, conditions and environment lead to a reactive response. Being proactive means having a plan that stops you from responding to situations based on only your feelings. This habit is based on your principle of personal leadership. Whatever is at the center of your life is your source for security, guidance, wisdom and power. Family? Education? Career? Balance is based on your personal vision statement. Visualize your potential and develop your talents and strengths to get there. Getting there requires you to examine five dimensions: character, relationships, courtesy and respect, agreements and goals, support with a reward system that works and the process. Identify the concerns, points of view and results of others and adapt to them. It's not all about you! Covey followed up his seven habits with an eighth one: “from effectiveness to greatness,” essentially finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs. The best greatness is to accept our choices as mothers and professionals. Accept being a “good enough” mother without needing perfection. Still having trouble deciphering urgent from important? A time management matrix divides tasks into four quadrants. In Quadrant I, urgent/important, are the crises, pressing problems and deadline-driven projects. Quadrant II, not urgent/important, contains no drama and no crises. You can concentrate on prevention, building relationships, recognizing new opportunities and planning and cooperation. The danger is in ignoring Quadrant II. Quadrant III, urgent/not important, includes interruptions, some calls, mail, reports and meetings, as well as proximate and pressing matters along with regular duties. Quadrant IV, not urgent/not important, contains trivial tasks, busy work, some mail and phone calls, time wasters and pleasant activities. We have many organizational tools for success at work. How about using them for home and personal lives? Contacts: mpickett@niu.edu or 815.753.2533 dasneves@niu.edu or 815.753.5908