Abstract

Mixed-orientation relationships can be mutually satisfying and unproblematic. They may become challenging when one partner's gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation is revealed unexpectedly during a long-term relationship, and the G/L/B partner wishes to act on his or her same-sex attractions, or the straight partner cannot come to terms with the revelation. Awareness and disclosure of same-sex attractions are often delayed due to the cultural and personal effects of homophobia and biphobia. Couple therapy can help these couples by helping them to understand the different experiences and therapeutic needs of the partners, sorting through and addressing the underlying relational issues brought out by the conflict, providing education and resources, and offering possibilities for redefining the relationship. The therapist should be aware of the diverse outcomes that can result and be prepared to facilitate the negotiation of changes. Successfully creating a sustainable relationship depends on the quality of the relationship before disclosure and both partners’ willingness to focus on reconstructing the relationship.

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