Coping with childlessness and perinatal loss: Reflections of a Swedish hospital chaplain

Abstract

Since ancient times, having no children has been seen as a tragedy. As a hospital chaplain and lecturer on pastoral care in Sweden since 1970, I have worked to help people find positive strategies for coping with pregnancy loss and childlessness, often with the support of texts from the Bible and modern literature. In modern literature, the situations of people unable and unwilling to have children are described, in the work of Gabriela Mistral, Imre Kertész and Oriana Fallaci. In a study for a theological doctorate in 1980–1982, I interviewed 79 couples who had experienced a perinatal loss in the 1970s as a result of complications of pregnancy, among whom seven couples had remained childless. None of them received adequate support. Compared with today in Sweden, this situation has changed for the better in terms of the quality of both antenatal, obstetric and neonatal care and psychological counselling. Constructive coping strategies involve moving from despair to trust, being able to express anger and other emotions openly, caring for others, and finding ways to create something out of the grief. For many people, religious faith plays a part.