Coping with a Child's Fatal Illness: A Parent's Dilemma

Abstract

The complexity of the coping process is a reflection of the contradictory adaptational tasks of parents — the fighting and running away. These tasks include meeting the needs of the ill child, caring for him, and nurturing him while simultaneously preparing to separate from him. They include grieving for a child without succumbing to depression or anxiety severe enough to result in neglect of the child or other family members. They include “making sense out of a disease that seems senseless” — a disease of unknown etiology and a disease for which there is no cure. The emphasis on parental coping has not been on the labeling of adaptive or maladaptive patterns, but on the description of the coping process within the context of a state of disequilibrium in which parents find themselves as a result of their child's fatal illness. The medical condition of the child, the phase of illness, and the type of support utilized or available to the parent all influence the varied coping strategies of parents. It is paramount for nurses and other caregivers who work with parents to understand and assess the methods of coping parents utilize in various stages of the child's illness, and to be cognizant of the influence supportive factors may have on the adaptation process of parents.