Confronting Directly and Indirectly: Are You Attuned to Notice?

Abstract

How we voice our disagreements may say a lot about our cultural influences. Confrontations are not always angry fights; sometimes they happen when there is a need to deliver bad news, or to say no to what another person is asking of you. Many managers ask questions such as “What is the right way to say no to a boss?” “What is the right way to challenge or oppose someone else's opinion?” “What is the right way to deliver criticism to a colleague?” The answer to these questions depends to an extent on the context. And one important element of context is whether the parties are from direct- or indirect-confrontation cultures. This technical note offers insight and research on distinguishing the difference between the two and strategies to pick up on and appropriately interpret expressions of confrontation in a way that allows you to respond effectively. Excerpt UVA-OB-1055 Rev. Mar. 16, 2015 Confronting Directly and Indirectly: Are You Attuned to Notice? Confrontations are not always angry fights; sometimes they happen when there is a need to deliver bad news, or to say no to what another person is asking of you. Many managers ask questions such as “What is the right way to say no to a boss?” “To challenge or oppose someone else's opinion?” “To deliver criticism to a colleague?” The answer to these questions depends to an extent on the context. And one important element of context is whether the parties are from direct- or indirect-confrontation cultures. Though some people might be familiar with cultural differences and norms for confrontation, the difference between direct and indirect confrontation often takes managers by surprise. The challenge in cross-cultural confrontation is being attuned to pick up on and appropriately interpret expressions of confrontation in a way that allows you to respond effectively. Before turning to the business world, consider this experience one of our colleagues had in the classroom: I was teaching an undergraduate class where the learning objective was to promote awareness about how national culture impacts personal values. I asked an exchange student from Japan if he would be willing to bring to class an artifact from home, and explain to his classmates how it represented an important Japanese cultural value. The student said that was “interesting,” that he would consider it, asked for time to think about it. In the next class, he gave me a long list of reasons why he was worried about his ability to do this assignment: his English was not good enough, he needed to study for exams, and the other students already know a lot about Japan. These reasons seemed puzzling to me because his English was perfect, exams were six weeks away, and no one in the class knew a thing about Japanese culture. I wondered, is he experiencing a confidence problem? What is he worried about? Then I realized—he was not “worried.” He was very clearly telling me “no.” . . .