Conceiving and Negotiating Reproductive Relationships: Lesbians and Gay Men Forming Families with Children

Abstract

Lesbian and gay parented families are often viewed through the lens of ‘families of choice’, which assumes they are self-reflexive and innovative in structure. In recent years, some lesbians and gay men have informally negotiated reproductive relationships with friends or acquaintances. The varied kinship assumptions underpinning such relationships are the focus of this article. Three main approaches to family formation are identified: ‘standard donor’, ‘social solidarity’ and ‘co-parenting’. I argue that a continuum of kinship intentions is evident in these different approaches, and that the degree of innovation and convention needs to be unpacked, particularly with regard to the status of friendship as kinship. I comment on the persistent appeal of co-habiting coupledom as the basis for parenting and the perceived asymmetry between biological motherhood and fatherhood. In conceptualizing and negotiating reproductive relationships, lesbians and gay men may accept or reconfigure the assumptions characteristic of heteronormative clinical assisted reproductive technology (ART) conventions.