Closing circles: Family-of-origin reconciliations following the transition to parenthood in lesbian and gay parents through assisted reproduction

Abstract

Introduction Research on lesbian and gay parent families has mostly focused on parenting quality and child development, yet little attention has been given to the transformations in families of origin’s dynamics following the transition to parenthood. Aims and Methods In this qualitative study, we explored the experiences of 35 lesbian parents and 35 gay parents, regarding family-of-origin ruptures following coming out (CO) and the reconciliations that occur with the arrival of children. Results The study utilized a thematic analysis identifying three core themes: (a) parental rejection at CO, encompassing descriptions of heteronormativity shaping parental prejudices regarding homosexuality; (b) consequences of CO rejection, focused on internalized homophobia, silence in communication with parents, relocations to move away from the parents; and, finally (c) grandparenthood as an opportunity for relational changes, focused on the changes which occurred when lesbian and gay parents’ own parents became grandparents: reconciliations after detachment, reconsiderations of past experiences, and COs done following the arrival of grandchildren. Conclusion Overall, the findings revealed that the transition to parenthood facilitated the repair of long-standing relational ruptures and the strengthening of bonds with parents’ families of origin. This study contributes to a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by people with minoritized sexual identities who come out and years later transition to parenthood.