Clinicians' Unintentional Lack of Support through Pregnancy Loss

Abstract

Clinicians' Unintentional Lack of Support through Pregnancy Loss Katarina Lepinski Having lost all four of my pregnancies, I have a lot to say about the support, or often lack thereof, I've received from my care providers and various clinicians. Ranging from lack of empathy and sympathy to downright insensitive phrasing and judgement, I can't help but feel like a burden to the nursing staff and doctors that I've interacted with. The responses I received were often negative and cold; I received very little compassion from most of the clinicians I interacted with. Of the four times that I've met with an OBGYN following a miscarriage, [End Page E13] only two were addressed with an "I'm sorry for your loss" from the nursing staff and doctor. When I called my OBGYN's office to discuss minor spotting during my first pregnancy, I was met with an extremely cold and rude attitude. I had called the after-hours emergency line, as I had noticed the spotting early in the morning and before the regular nurse line was available. The woman I spoke to made me feel like a total inconvenience—she told me to call my OBGYN's office after 8 am. She didn't even address the reason for my call. I felt ignored and helpless. Just because there wasn't anything she could do, a little compassion would have gone a long way. As I hung up, I remember asking myself, "What's the point of an after-hours emergency line if they can't do anything to help? She could have at least attempted to comfort me." Later that morning, just after 8 am, I called my OBGYN's office. I was again met with the feeling that I was an inconvenience. This nurse told me that I shouldn't worry myself over "nothing." I understand that a lot of women (and men) carry anxiety through their pregnancies and she was correct in that I shouldn't worry about "nothing," but I know my body and I knew that something was wrong. Her tone stung—it wasn't a "it will be okay" sort of "don't worry," it was the "get over it" sort. Her not taking me seriously broke my heart; I felt stupid for asking for help. She explained to me that I had just taken a blood test a few days prior and that the numbers were good. First, I knew that I was about five weeks along as of the day of that blood test; when they called me with the results, they said that the numbers looked good for being four weeks along. I remember how wrong their statement felt, but I didn't correct them. I assumed they knew something that I didn't. I now understand that some women ovulate later in their cycles, which could mean that they're not as far along as they think they are, using the first day of their last period to calculate it. Did they attempt to explain that to me? No, of course not. I know that I didn't ask for clarification, but you would think that they'd want to educate me, especially with it being my very first pregnancy. They could have taken a literal minute to tell me that, based on the first day of my last period, I could be five weeks along, but not having known when I ovulated, I could be just four weeks along. I sometimes think that I expect too much from my care providers, but at the same time, shouldn't I be able to trust them to give me the whole story? I had to beg the nurse to let me come in for a second blood test but was told that it wasn't necessary (since my numbers were "good" a few days prior). After begging, she told me that if it would make me feel better, they would let me come in. Why did it feel like I was asking too much? What did it matter to her if I had to pay for a second blood test; why didn't she take me seriously...