Changing Expectations of Research: Wrestling with the Complex and Unpredictable

Abstract

Many neophyte researchers such as those who undertake a substantial masters thesis or embark on doctoral research find themselves faced with an unexpected sense of alienation, aloneness and self doubt. The research process is not necessarily what one expects. Nor does it appear that research methods papers prepare one for the personal uncertainty and upheaval that can be part of the process. This article maps my journey as a developing researcher and PhD student who set out to study student teachers’ level of reflectivity and active learning in a class I was teaching but found myself intruding into and exploring my own world of assumptions, beliefs and values. I had embarked on an intrepid journey which would challenge and change my understanding of research methodology, my own teacher education practice and even my self-understanding. The research journey has become an ongoing transformative experience of self discovery, personal and professional development where research is no longer viewed as linear, sequential and