Abstract
As a multifaceted phenomenon, family secrets affect interaction in the therapeutic system. This qualitative study, applying the multi‐actor Dialogical Methods for Investigations of Happening of Change, explored how children participated and positioned themselves in family therapy in a climate of family secrets. The results showed that the children were active co‐participants in the complex dynamics of a secretive atmosphere, involving themselves in the paradoxical processes of reconstructing and deconstructing the secretive and unsafe climate. In family therapy, a child’s symptomatic behaviour can function as a visible ‘cover story’ for invisible constructions of secrets, preventing sensitive topics from becoming the focus of therapy. Family secrets therefore continue to present a challenge in family therapy practice and research.Practitioner points Family secrets should be asked about in pre‐therapy assessment and diagnostic interviews where all family members are present The genogram enables the exploration of multigenerational family patterns and functions that might be influenced by family secrets By normalising the phenomenon of family secrets, therapists could make room for joint discussions on these and encourage family members to talk about their good reasons for keeping secrets
Highlights
Secrets define boundaries telling us who is in and who is out (ImberBlack, 1993)
This study focused on how family secrets as a systemic phenomenon affect children’s positioning in the family therapy and how they cope in these challenging situations
Granting that family patterns tend to repeat themselves (Bowen, 1978; Kerr and Bowen, 1988), we suggest that the topic of family secrets should be taken seriously in the family therapeutic context
Summary
Secrets define boundaries telling us who is in and who is out (ImberBlack, 1993). From a systemic perspective, secrets affect all the participants involved in the therapy process. Even secrets kept with the best intentions (protection) can negatively affect a family’s interactional patterns (Bowen, 1978; Imber-Black, 1998; Stierlin, 1977b) Those kept unaware of a secret try to deal with distorted communication practices, and may develop self-doubt, suspicion, fear and anxiety, eating disorders, and negative psychological functioning later in life (Imber-Black, 1998). Berger and Paul (2008) showed that there is an inverse relationship between topic avoidance and family functioning. It is important to keep in mind that secrets in families are not necessarily toxic; sometimes they serve to create a story that family members can live with (Rober and Rosenblatt, 2013)
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