Birthing the Lesbian Teacher within: Towards an Understanding of Identity and Self-Actualization

Abstract

It is mid-semester and I have arranged individual conferences with all of my firstyear composition students to gauge how they are doing in the course and to address any of their concerns about it. It’s 12:00 and my next appointment, Monica, should be here any minute. Monica generally sits in the farthest comer of the room, arms crossed, rarely speaking in class discussions. Recently, in a class discussion about the NAMES project (it had visited campus and I required my students to attend), she stated that she has high moral standards for herself and perceives her body as the temple of God; and therefore, homosexuals could never be Christian because they all have the devil in their bodies. At this point in the semester, I have surmised that Monica has deduced that I am a lesbian and feels a certain amount of “justified” antagonism towards me. I’m hoping that this conference will break some of the tension between us; I want to show her that I am concerned about her needs as a writer and learner and that I am not out to replicate myself through my students. It’s 12:01 and Monica knocks on my open office door. I invite her to come in and sit in the chair that stands a few feet across from me. She plops down in the chair and clutches her backpack to her stomach.