Bim and Bom

Abstract

BIM AND BOM were a pair of clowns. They always performed together, enjoyed enormous popularity. No one could remember without or without Bim-only that Bim-and-Bom Bom-and-Bim made them laugh. was unclear whether played a particular role in the partnership, or whether had any special significance; perhaps it was only the and between them that mattered. Besides this and that held them together, there was one other constant, unvarying element of their partnership - which though inessential, proved grave in consequence: namely, the order in which their names appeared on the poster. was always first, second, always Bim Born, never Born Bim. No one knew why this was the case; even they themselves were not sure. And no one would have given it much thought-they themselves the least of all, since they had always worked in perfect agreement harmony-if not for a curious event, not unlike the one that took place in Paradise. While on tour around the country, arrived in a little town, signed in at a hotel, and, having nothing else to do before the evening performance, decided to make their way to a barber. They took their places in the queue, since this was-as we have already mentioned-before their performance, they were still unknown thus waited incognito. When the last of the customers before them had had his hair cut, the barber untied the apron from under his neck, dusted it off, asked: Who's next? Without hesitation, Bom stood up together sat down in the barber's chair, each occupying exactly half the seat. This must be some sort of a joke! exclaimed the barber, not even slightly amused. What I'm asking is, which one of you gentlemen was first! Bom looked at each other, but because they were sitting so close, one next to the other, or the other next to the one, they had to look each other straight in the eye. haven't the time for stupid jokes' said the barber, becoming more more impatient. Please leave my shop. stood up simultaneously headed for the exit. They were so preoccupied with the question of precedence -a question that until then they had never asked themselves-that they paid no heed to their surroundings. Although they were still walking together, the question took shape in each of their minds separately, now each of them independently sought an answer. They crossed the doorstep once more found themselves in the street. Over the barber's door could be seen a sign: Haircuts & Shaves-Z. Snake. The ampersand was strangely enlarged. Their career did not survive much longer. They say Bom attempted to strangle Bim, to poison Bom. In any case, their joint performances were no longer of the same quality, their popularity fell. They performed in ever more wretched cabarets even that ever more rarely, until they stopped performing altogether, no one has heard from them since. HEALTH SERVICES The appendectomy proved inevitable. I filled out the appropriate forms my name was placed on the waiting list. Two years passed in a flash, my turn came, I found myself in a hospital. The surgery was successful. Even the head surgeon congratulated me on my results. It was a beautiful operation, Ma'am, he said. I pointed out that I was of the masculine gender. He checked something in his file. You were, before the surgery. By mistake, you were transferred to the experimental ward, now you are a woman. The sex-change is still a pioneering branch of surgery, but we have achieved excellent results, of which you, Madam... Sir.... are the proof. But what about my appendix? Wouldn't you like to keep it, Ma'am? No. And I do not wish to remain a woman, either, please correct this misunderstanding immediately. You certainly are a difficult patient, Sir. …