Being Single, Being Church

Abstract

The world of the 20-21st century is one of rapid change - for family life, for our work environments, in friendship structures and general attitudes about ourselves. We question who we are and our values. We seek to understand ourselves more fully as individuals and as groups within a world of flux. Within this context a significant change that has taken place in the church is the growing emergence of people remaining single for a variety of reasons. I understand that the term 'single' denotes that group of baptised Christians who have never married and who have chosen to remain single or who continue to affirm their singleness but not foreclosing on the possibility of marriage. As with any change, the transition that is required is never easy. Raymond Brown (1979) touched upon this type of transition and movement for change in society when he said that more and more are finding the single life-style suitable as new territory in which to dwell. They see the structures of society beginning to shift. They see a growing awareness on the part of many people toward an acceptance of single adulthood. This growing awareness has also been paralleled within the thinking of the church. However, many single men and women 'generally feel that the church has geared its ministry toward those who are married and towards nuclear family units'. The reflection by Brown reflects my own thought about being single, particularly with regard to single people and their being church. I will argue in this thesis that being single has theological value as a way of living out one's baptismal call to follow Christ in work, relationships, in attitudes and values. This thesis represents a critical search in, my own need for self-understanding as a single person together with other single people as I believe we contribute to our society and to our Christian calling. At the beginning of Mark's gospel Jesus' baptism is recorded as a prelude to his ministry: It was at this time that Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptised in the Jordan by John. No sooner had he come up out of the water than he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit, like a dove, descending on him. And a voice came from heaven, 'You are my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on you' (Mark 1:9-11). Jesus' baptism is the impetus and is at the heart of his ministry for a mission that is favoured by God. Likewise, baptism is at the heart of the single person's way of living for Christ. Further, the sentiments of Paul in Ephesians 3: 14-21 serve as a goal for all Christians which includes single men and women. Paul speaks about a unique relationship with Christ, one based on love and openness to Christ. This, then, is what I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name: Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God. Glory be to him whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine; glory be to him from generation to generation in the Church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever. Amen. Jesus' baptism as depicted in Mark together with Paul's thoughts concerning the reception of the power of the Spirit for our hidden selves to grow in love and faith and journeying with others in the Christian tradition, represent the underlying theological attitude of this thesis about the single person. The single person by the nature of his or her baptism, is called to follow Christ - to grow in personal stature as one who is open to the presence of Christ in and through the events of daily life. Integral to this baptismal call is the need to challenge those constructs which don't enhance and give voice to the single person within the church. I consider that one such construct is the notion of 'vocation' as it has been used traditionally in the church's thinking for its self-understanding. In this regard, it is my contention that 'vocation' is about following Christ in and through baptism. How one lives one's life is his or her career choice; how one lives in response to Christ - whether as married or single, priest or religious. It is our primary vocation to follow Christ as promised at baptism. The chosen definition, however, ought not to exclude those Christians who, for reasons beyond their control, for example find themselves living the single life because of their separation from their partner or are widowed, although the primary thrust of the definition will focus on those Christians who continue to affirm their choice for the single way of life. The term Church here is explained by Lumen Gentium 9: 'This was to be the new People of God. For, those who believe in Christ, who are reborn not from a perishable but from an imperishable seed through the Word of the living God (cf. 1 Pet. 1:23), not from the flesh but from water and the Holy Spirit (cf. Jn. 3:5-6), are finally established as 'a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people.' This definition has been chosen as it articulates a point of view about the people who comprise the church. In particular the definition speaks of the 'signs' of baptism - water and the Holy Spirit. It is these signs that characterise those called by God through baptism to be the people of God, the purchased people. I argue that the sacrament of baptism is what characterises all in the church irrespective of their state. The primary methodology for our critical examination of the meaning of the single state is by case study. The Case Study method will allow me to elaborate upon a developmental theological perspective from within the Vatican Council documents. By this method I examine the single state from within the ecclesial as well as a sociological understanding. Secondly a dialectical approach will enable me to argue the case for the single state as a valid way of life. From this I aim to highlight the single state and its key attributes as well as to provide a personal perspective about single living. Further, this secondary method allows me to highlight the way in which single people contribute to, and are a part of the life of the church. This twofold methodology enables me to look at the particular issue of the single state within the wider context of the church, and to argue for the significance of the part to the whole.