Being assertive or being liked. A genuine dilemma?

Abstract

Several studies have found that observers view assertion as more "competent" but less "likeable" than passivity. However, all of these studies have examined the effects of different assertive styles in the absence of other personality-related information about the assertor. In the present study, passive, assertive, and assertive-empathic responses to a series of unreasonable requests were embedded within a more fully developed personality designed to be either "warm" or "neutral." Videotapes of two women portraying each combination of personality and assertion styles were shown to male and female raters. The results indicated that assertion had a negative effect on ratings of "consideration" but little main effect on ratings of "likeability." An assertion style X sex of rater interaction indicated that women liked the model better when she asserted herself than when she was passive, whereas men felt just the opposite. Adding empathy to assertion had no effect on the interpersonal impact of assertion. The present results suggest that the methods used to study the interpersonal effects of assertion may have cast assertion in an unduly negative light.