Be Filial

Abstract

Confucians believe that what we should become is based on what we already are. Our best selves must grow from our earlier and more basic selves, and so we start with parent–child relations and with families. On this basis, this chapter explains what filial piety (xiao) is, why Confucians believe it to be of fundamental importance, and what to do when familial relationships go awry. Filial piety is an attitude of love and respect for one’s parents, feelings that are natural to have (at least to a degree, and at least partly in response to loving concern from one’s parents), and filial piety is expressed both through characteristic actions and in one’s demeanor. According to the Analects, filial piety is the “root” of humaneness, which is the height of human virtuosity. If one devotes oneself to cultivating filial piety, multi-faceted virtuosity will grow, and with it an increasingly humane world. Confucians will counsel us always to do our best to respond to challenges within our families out of the feelings of love and respect that lie at the core of filial piety.