Balancing Psychologized Individualism with Societal Constraints and Uncovering the True Self

Abstract

In Parkside, parents were faced with the difficult task of trying to insert sociocentric values into the sacred pillars of the rights of expression. The parents began a juggling act, attempting to do both, more often leaning toward the side of the expression of feelings and the practices that promote this (privacy, communication, creativity). Perhaps I became most aware of how important Parkside parents felt it was for their child to express themselves when I sat in on a weekly Parent Guidance Workshop and watched parents struggle to find a balance between raising a polite, well-mannered, cooperative child and one that still expressed her own moods, needs, desires, thoughts, and feelings. It is important to keep in mind in reading this chapter that Parkside talk of individualism often existed alongside talk of the importance of the group. The ultimate goal of these parents was to fit such psychologized and expressive individualism into the more restrictive elements, which were required by society. The truly successful child would get nowhere without an ability to get along with the group and a developed sense of what was socially appropriate. No child was an island, nor did parents want them to be. Thus, lest it seem that the group was viewed in a completely negative fashion, keep in mind that social values existed alongside the promotion of the individuality of the child. To say these parents all wanted outgoing, completely uninhibited children is going too far.