Abstract
The process gay persons use to manage the multiple losses and cumulative grief from losing lovers, friends, colleagues and clients to AIDS was explored. Interviews with gay individuals (n = 19) in a large urban area in the West provided data for conceptual coding and comparative analysis. Balancing engagement and detachment was identified as the basic social-psychological process that described how gay individuals struggled to reach an optimal balance in their involvement in the needs of individuals and the community. Four conceptual categories were identified: dysfunctional engagement, functional engagement, functional detachment and dysfunctional detachment. These four categories occur within the contexts of previous life style and redefinition of personal values.
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