Attachment and separation: Major themes in movement therapy with adults

Abstract

It is no accident that I elected to discuss this topic. Mid-life is often a time of reflection about attachment and separation. One is now often separated from parents and older friends by death; children have grown up and moved away; marriages are ended; new relationships begin; people from the past disappear and reappear. Attachments and separations are with us from the cradle to the grave. This came to mind when I received the Ahunnae Bulletin from Sarah Lawrence College where I was a student some 2.5 years ago. The Bulletin contained an In ~e~~ri(i~i fo Esther R~~i~~~rlbush, a favorite teacher. As I read this tribute, memories and feelings flooded my consciousness of a time and of a place and, most importantly, of my personal relationship with Esther Raushenbush. She had touched my life in a very special way. The word “touch” is used with all of its physical and psychological implications, which movement therapists appreciate. The realization that my attachment to this marvelous woman is still living in my psyche, even though I have neither seen nor consciously thought of her for more than 15 years, is an amazing phenomenon. What is this process called “attachment” which keeps such feelings alive within us? What is known about how these feelings begin in children? What are the benefits and the risks of certain attachments and separations along the way? There is probably no one who has not experienced, first hand, what it means to feel the pain of a separation-from a lover, friend, child or parent, be it permanent or temporary. The deeper the emotional involvement, the greater the sense of loss associated with separation. Why does one cathect to one individual more than to another? Why is it that certain separations can be more easily tolerated than others? The idea that when we “fall in love” there are special reasons-albeit unconscious-for the choice of love object is one that is generally accepted among therapists. It follows then that the persons we “choose” to love in adult life are in many respects replications of earliest infantile attachments. These individuals, who serve as symbols of early attachment figures, will be those in whom we as adults invest the strongest feelings. Thus, separation from such persons is fraught with psychological meaning. What the meaning may be is highly dependent on many factors-factors related to development, and factors regarding the unique history of each person and how s/he grew to be who s/he is. It is important for clinicians to understand these factors which exist for us as well as for our patients. In my movement therapy practice, I attempt to utilize a particular thedry of attachment and separation as a working model to understand the behaviors of adult patients. This theory is based on a conceptual view of childhood, in which psychosexual stages and their concomitant behaviors are critical cues to present adult functioning. The therapy session is a laboratory in which it is possible to examine how a person has attached to and separated from important people, most especially parents, in childhood. Thus, in the present there is replication of the recurring conflicts