“As ugly and painful as it was, it was effective:” Individuals' unique assessment of communication competence during aggressive conflict episodes

Abstract

Communication competence plays a role in several problematic relational issues such as conflict management, interpersonal aggression, loneliness, and sexual coercion. This study examined the relationship between communication competence and aggression. Thirty‐one individuals (26 females, 5 males) experiencing aggression during conflict episodes with romantic partners were interviewed, generating 967 pages of transcribed data. The qualitative data analysis revealed that many of the participants assessed their use of aggression according to social customs, finding it inappropriate and ineffective. However, many noted their aggression was appropriate and effective given the circumstances of their relationship. These findings suggest a unique relational culture where aggression is perceived in ways that deviate from social norms. The theoretical and practical implications are discussed.