Art therapy for chemsex: A pilot study of representations of memories among this subset of self-identified gay men as expressed in gouache painting

Abstract

This pioneering art-based qualitative phenomenological study examined expressions and representations of memories among Israeli self-identified gay males who engaged in chemsex11A term associated with the gay community int Israel. (combining drugs such as crystal meth and GHB with sexual behavior) as expressed in gouache painting. Fourteen openly self-identified gay secular Jewish men (25-45) represented their chemsex experiences and then described their feelings in semi-structured interviews. The interviews and artwork were analyzed according to the principles of thematic analysis and the phenomenological approach to shed light on gouache paint as a medium that prompts access to the thoughts and feelings of the gay male community involved in chemsex. Four main themes emerged from the analysis: 1. From longing to belonging and visibility, 2. Lack of excitement during sex, 3. Elicitation of the original feelings and sensations when under the influence of drugs, 4. Recalling sexual experiences as reflected in the artwork. The analysis suggested that coming-out processes have certain similarities to immigration processes and are characterized by attempts to affiliate with the peer group while embracing its behavior patterns, even when these are not in line with the individual’s desires. The shame elicited when recalling these sexual experiences generates a need for emotional disengagement to continue functioning. Without a suitable therapeutic response, this may lead to addiction. The gouache medium helped identify a reemerging desire for control the participants felt they had lost.