An Essay on Theory

Abstract

I. When TERRY first grabbed paper, pen and ink (Or filled his cartridge and topped up a drink) This tale he told-the young ones gathered round How LITERARY THEORY gained the ground. When (not so long ago) dons walked the earth It was suffice to prate of CHAUCER's mirth, Or SHAKESPEARE's soul, or neuraesthenic KEATS, Or bawdy BYRON, or to count the beats Of thudding hooves or hammers in a line Or find a furbelow and judge it fine. (10) To be a critic back then was to be A claret snob, or connoisseur of tea (The critics wandered to and fro Talking of de la Rochefoucauld.) The scene was artificial, arch, and arty, And THEORY soon would crash this fancy party; Like the bad fairy, omitted from the list It put those scholar vicars in a twist. They'd lived a quiet life where things fit snugly (And, truth be told, they viewed art somewhat smugly) (20) But THEORY, like the new, is always ugly. Terry Eagleton, Agar Theory. New York: Basic Books, 2003. Terry Eaglet., Literary Theory: An Introduction. Oxford: Blackwell, 1983, 2nd ed. 1996. Just as his namesake TERENCE PUBLIUS TERRY liked nothing better than the fuss Of bourgeois morals or manners under fire The comic premise for the best satire: He'd play the clown (or even the buffoon), Was quick to prick the hypocrite's balloon. Fond of a mixup since his Dublin days The veteran (I assume) of tougher frays Defender of underdogs when they are down (30) He took the case, and made the cause his own. As THEORY'S herald, a trumpet loud he blew To rouse the drowsy, usher in the (Some harked a silver fanfare; some would hear A rude, resounding, commie-red bronx cheer). The old ways, we soon learned, just wouldn't do: They won't play in Pretoria or Peru Lusaka, Londonderry, China, Chad Jordan, Jakarta, Harlem, Hyderabad Or any other neat euphonious pair. (40) The meaning of a text is not just there Like rocks (or capital accumulation) But takes its meaning from the situation. (Dogs must be carried on the escalator?) * So, out with ARNOLD, RICHARDS, RUSKIN, PATER, BROOKS is behind and TATE is even later ELIOT'S gone, with critics old and new In comes the whole poststructuralist crew. No more the tuneful plucking of the lyre Yes to the free play of the signifier! (50) (He wasn't quite convinced about desire, And feminists, praised for their moral tone Still didn't rate a chapter of their own.) The reader will recognize this famous example from Literary Theory (LT6). To be without a theory is as rare As breathing in without consuming air Since theory, he affirmed, is everywhere. And when objections to this state arose The sceptics could be simply classed with those (Like poor Jourdain) who spoke unwitting prose. Theory's like halitosis (so he's shown) (60) We point to others, yet deny our own. And soon the schools were seized by young(ish) Turks Who learned to look to literary works For more than wit or charm or common sense Or hours perched on the figural fence (And common sense was treated with disdain Unless, of course, that sense belonged to PAINE). Poetry was a weapon (so too belles-letters) Wielded to make the poor folk mind their betters And triple-deckers had the heft and mass (70) To lob at toilers of the working class. A liberating thought, but troubling too: If English oppresses, what should teachers do? This vast and very vexing contradiction Could not be solved by drama, verse, or fiction And tired of this dilemma, worn and weary, They made the kids buy--Literary Theory. II. If Homer nods, the critic too may blink One Irish evening, as he poured (I think) Over his guinness book, the critic fell (80) Into a dream, a synaesthetic spell. Paris: the Pantheon, cerebral dome Bathed in celestial light, immortal home Of gods and goddesses of timeless THOUGHT, (Things not well known, and never so well wrought) With pace serene the sacred steps they tread A venerable figure at their head. First Mighty KARL MARX, of blessed name (For Marx and method are, of course, the same) His beard, a banner, streams along the air (90) As eerie letters, formed in twisted hair, Spell DIALECTIC o'er the golden square. …