An Entrustment Service for Families Participating in Open Adoption

Abstract

32 r i t u a l While serving as a clinical pastoral education (CPE) resident, I was asked by an adoptive family to perform an entrustment service for their child, which would include both the birth family and the adoptive family. I was familiar with baby dedications from my own Protestant tradition and yet could not find ritual that recognized the unique needs of this situation. Out of my research, I developed an entrustment service that may be used for open adoptions such as this. An open adoption means that birth parents and adoptive parents have some knowledge about one another. The birth parents even may help choose the adoptive parents. Adoptive parents and their children know medical and genetic information about the birth family. Informal open adoptions have occurred for centuries, in which relatives or close family friends have raised children not born to them but whose parents were known to them. However, the concept of formal open adoption is quite new, having been established within the past twenty years. Openness may mean that birth parents choose the couple or person they feel would give their baby a good home even though they may never meet the adoptive family. At the other end of the openness spectrum, birth parents may meet the adoptive parents, visit their home and have ongoing contact throughout the child’s life. The degree of openness usually depends on the comfort level of both the birth parents and adoptive parents. (See www.openadoptions.com). The families of the baby girl I have chosen to call Grace plan to have occasional contact throughout the child’s life. In addition to birth family members (mother, maternal grandmother, maternal aunt) and adoptive parents, the hospital social worker attended the entrustment service detailed below. We sat in a circle in the hospital chapel. The adoptive parents held the baby the entire service. We had discussed this, and both families were comfortable with this decision. In other situations, it may be appropriate for the birth family to hold the baby during the first part and, following the sharing time, to transfer this care to the adoptive family. I had tissues ready as we all shed tears at different moments during the service. My hope is that this service provided a ritual for this pivotal moment in the lives of these families.