An autoethnography of an international English language teaching assistant’s identity paradoxes in an EFL context

Abstract

International teaching assistants (ITAs) often encounter challenges, and with the popularization of English medium instruction (EMI) in international higher education contexts, these problems are no longer restricted to English-speaking countries. Against this backdrop and drawing on the concept of identity paradox, the author presents an autoethnography of the identity construction of an ITA in Macau. Influenced by factors at four levels (individual, interpersonal, organizational, and societal), this autoethnographic narrative suggests that ITA identity construction can be a journey of continual reconciliation of various paradoxical identity categories as captured by three pairs of identity paradoxes: “mute English user” vs. “advanced English learner,” “mechanical teacher” vs. “divergent thinker,” and “struggling fighter” vs. “ambitious planner.” Based on the findings, a theory-informed discussion and implications for ITA training are included.