Amae and Attachment: Security in Cultural Context

Abstract

Kazuko Behrens’ multifaceted description of amae represents an important contribution to our understanding of close relationships. In particular, we applaud her adoption of a contextualized, lifespan perspective. Focusing on adulthood is especially helpful in directing attention to larger social, economic, political, and philosophical realities in which close relationships are embedded. At the heart of Behrens’ article is her comparison of amae and attachment. Here we attempt to build on Behrens’ comparison, by focusing on similarities and differences between amae and attachment in both early childhood and adulthood. Like Behrens we provide a multifaceted comparison of the two constructs, but in addition, we seek to identify larger themes that unite and differentiate them. The larger themes are that both amae and attachment are rooted in needs for closeness and security and that in different cultures these needs are linked to different values that underlie and give form to the institutions and societal realities in those cultures. We claim that the dominant values in Japan (and amae) center on harmony and that the dominant values in the US and Western Europe (and attachment) center on autonomy [Mizuta, Zahn-Waxler, Cole, & Hiruma, 1996; Rothbaum, Pott, Azuma, Miyake, & Weisz, 2000]. In the first and second sections we compare amae and attachment in early childhood and adulthood, respectively. In the final section we elaborate on and consider implications of our ideas for Behrens’ formulation.