Al Guard's Night of Nights

Abstract

I know my rights. Anything I say can be used against me therefore you can't force me to say anything, lest it be used, by you, against me. You don't have to teU me. I know my rights. I'm also entitled to an attorney, either one of my own choosing, or a court-appointed one in the event I can't afford one, which I can, or could, if I wanted one. A mouthpiece. Get me sprung out of this joint in no time, right? Raymond Burr, maybe. Judd for the Defense. Whose defense? Not mine. Who needs those guys? A mouthpiece. Who's a more famous mouthpiece around this town than me? I've logged more TV hours defending a cUent than Perry Mason and Judd and the Defenders put together. And what a cUent I had! How about the New York Gothams for a cUent? Richest cUent in the city, probably, and the hardest to defend over the past four seasons. It's easy to defend a team that's winning pen nants, not much goes wrong you have to find an excuse for. But when they're on the skids? It's no smaU task, let me tell you. And now they're prosecuting me. And don't give me any of that stuff about it really being the state that's prosecuting me. It's the Gothams. My old dient But I know my rights. My name is Al Guard. My rank is announcer. Ex-announcer. My social se curity number is 150-28-2600. And that's all you're enti?ed to. Geneva Con vention. Right? My real name? It's Al Guard, like I said. My legal name? That's a different matter. Asa Weingarten is my legal name, but despite what you poUce types may beUeve legal and real are not necessarily the same thing. My real name is Al Guard and that's who I am. Ask the Gothams, they created me. But if you boys want a statement I don't see any reason why I shouldn't give you one. Even though I know my rights I'm wilUng to talk. I'm not suffering from any prosecution complex. Sorry. I've been dying to say that ever since you boys brought me in. It just seemed to fit at that moment.