Adolescents’ perceptions of parental conflict: The downside of silence

Abstract

Conflict between parents has been widely studied. However, the possible impact of nonverbal, nonphysical, silent conflict has not been examined. In this study, young people were interviewed about the characteristics of silent conflict, its impact, and their behaviours in response. Characteristics included high emotional content, behavioural changes in parents, and lack of resolution. Young people felt helplessness, a lack of control, insecurity, inability to monitor what was happening, confusion, and blame. In response to their parents’ silent conflict, they reported behaving badly to distract parents, taking sides, and self-harming. Overall, it was apparent that silent conflict is a real phenomenon readily recognised by young people, causing them distress. In particular, its characteristics of nonresolution, lack of identifiable content, and the consequent lack of ability to make sense of it, indicate that it is a particularly difficult aspect of interparental conflict.