Abstract

This study provides new insights into the role of social support in the largely unexplored field of broken marriage engagements and an individual's wellbeing. The study extends the optimal matching theory (OMT) and the research surrounding helpful, unhelpful, and mixed social support. It uses constant comparison to examine the social support messages individuals received after telling others their engagement ended, as described in 43, in-depth, semi-structured interviews. Six types of helpful support messengers, six types of unhelpful support messengers, and four mixed messenger types were found. Receiver-centric messengers were found to be more helpful than messengers who centered on their own feelings and needs, sometimes to the detriment of the receiver's own wellbeing. Being present, thoughtful, and intentional with words, can have a positive impact on a person's holistic health, regardless of whether the relationship is a weak-tie or strong-tie. Using study findings, the broken engagement message stoplight is proposed, detailing messages that are generally helpful to a person's overall wellbeing, messages that should likely be avoided, and messages that should be said cautiously when interacting with someone experiencing a broken engagement.

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