A phenomenology of love, thanks to Lacan, Miller, and Jellybean

Abstract

This paper presents a phenomenology of love, indicating some complexities in working with the lover in psychotherapy and counselling, while taking into account Lacanian ideas about love. Experience and Lacan's ideas seem to intersect, the latter perhaps announcing a harsh 'truth' from which experience flinches. Reference to a small dog illustrates to an extent the real but illusory cause of desire we find in Lacan's object a. The paper begins with exploring how language can speak of the private, the phenomenological world, and therefore also says something that addresses everyone to an extent. Theory may emerge in this addressing and it can be noticed where perhaps Lacan is coming from. The lover and the broken-hearted person in therapy presents a challenge, to stay with experience or take refuge in theory, or perhaps stay with both, avoiding a collapse into technicalities. It seems that healing may begin to come through relinquishing a precious image/idea/story, of oneself, if at all possible.