Abstract
SUMMARY Two foster care executives encourage agency and parent leaders to rethink their relationships to improve the lives of children in their shared custody. When mothers-of-color charged that white privilege harmed rather than helped children, the white executives connected the accusation to their experience as closeted gay leaders in a religiously-run organization. That unexpected insight became the sharper lens through which they saw some emotional damage caused by their decisions. The executives examined their behavior and transformed their adversarial relationship with parents into a partnership. Their suggestions are based on efforts with parents, mistakes with trustees, and hard lessons learned.
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