A Family's Secret History

Abstract

Deborah Tall begins Family of Strangers, her lyric essay-cum memoir, by measuring life's certainty against its mystery. On the first page, she lists What I know; on the second, What I don't yet know. Then she attempts to bridge the gulf between the two. Hers is a strenuous effort, often painful, and since it leads to much less than full knowledge, the story of her search becomes the story of this book, as we watch Tall struggle, with what meager knowl edge she can gain, to unlock a family history that has been kept from her deliberately. The past she wants so desperately to open belongs to her father? the same man responsible for closing it off. Even by the memoir's conclusion, Tall won't fully understand the choices that led him?a radar expert who worked on the Ballistic Missile Early Warning System and who could disappear for months at a time?to hide so much of himself and his roots. He seemed strangely perfect for his highly-classified occupation because, first at home and then at work, he was a steadfast and dedicated secret-keeper. Tail's drive to know her family's past began early. She describes herself as a precocious girl asking her father and mother about their childhoods, relatives, and histories; but she was always met with kind, if not impatient, rebuffs: It would have mystified my parents that I recall my seemingly happy childhood as webbed by secrecy, silence, and lies. Eventually she realizes her curiosity is no match for her parents' resolve and understands that the hidden emotional stakes must indeed be high: A spoken truth could fracture his defenses, harm him, disarray the entire family. His past should be allowed to shrivel away in a white shimmy of mirage. Her desire to work into this secrecy requires great patience. The form of Tail's memoir may be its most remarkable feature. The judicious use of white space and spare, isolated sentences creates a startlingly quick pace for a book chronicling a painstak