A compliment's cost: How positive responses to non-traditional choices may paradoxically reinforce traditional gender norms.

Abstract

In times of societal change, like changes in gender roles, one may compliment men deciding to spend more time on childcare, or women pursuing a job higher up, to support their pioneering behaviour. However, we predict that while compliments may communicate appreciation of someone's behaviour, they simultaneously communicate that a norm has been breached, and thus that the behaviour is not considered 'normal'. In four studies (total N=821), we show that men receive more compliments for reducing work hours for childcare than women (Study 1). Moreover, compliments (compared to neutral responses) signal more descriptive norm deviance, and this has downstream consequences for perceptions of the target's gender belonging and decision doubt and for perceived societal norms (Studies 2-4). Together, these findings contribute to our understanding of normative communication patterns as well as potential paradoxical reinforcement of gender norms through compliments.