921･我･921∼地震之創傷與失落經驗

Abstract

This thesis is a self-narrative to investigate the researcher’s psychological process of losing home and both parents during the ten years from the 921 earthquake in 1999 to the present (2010). The 921 earthquake is not only a loss but also a trauma to me. Thus the narrative in this thesis is about a psychological process of my traumatic loss. The narrative is about the sorrows and the regrets I had for my parents, the pain and the vacancy toward my losing home, the attempt to face the bereavement firmly but to lapse into emotions back and forth, the difficulty of wanting to speak out but unable to, the doubts and the questions about life meanings, the struggle and the contradiction as to the need for company and receiving help, and the important strength resources that accompanied me all these years. The result of the analysis of the narrative is to discover the traumatic loss I had experienced from the 921 earthquake could be classified as “five psychological processes”, which includes “the discover of loss”, “self-protection”, “the energy incubation”, “the emotional grief”, and “the re-owning”. These processes might occur back and forth, but the main psychological process will be focus at one of the five. This “five psychological processes” describes my life experience from losing a “ external home” to returning “ internal home”. I also proposed some research suggestions for further research according to the pity and the imperfection of this thesis.