The literature on bereavement coalesces around three models of grief: (1) stage models; (2) task oriented models; and (3) mental disorders. This paper briefly introduces these dominant paradigms and argues that their implicit gender neutrality ignores a not inconsiderable literature on gender and grief. Furthermore, it presents relevant data from a qualitative study of the families of homicide victims. After reviewing survivors' coping attempts, behavioral adherence to traditional gender roles, and subsequent health problems, it is argued that an observed set of gender-specific grief cycles, and survivors' methods of avoiding them, may be useful in correcting, expanding, and integrating these models in ways that more effectively help the bereaved.