Vicissitudes of the Margins: An HIV/AIDS Theological Journey Ángel F. Méndez Montoya Vicissitude is “a quality or state of being changeable,” implying mutability, a “natural change or mutation visible in nature or in human affairs.” It can also refer to a “favorable or unfavorable event or situation that occurs by chance: a fluctuation of state or condition: [such as] the vicissitudes of daily life; a difficulty or hardship attendant on a way of life, a career, or a course of action usually beyond one’s control.”1 Vicissitudes are part of my life, and in this essay, I want to present my experiences of hardship and elation as an example of a life on the margins and how such a life can be appreciated as a theological location (a locus theologicus). I am inviting the reader to think about a theology en conjunto (jointly), a queer theology amid hardship and chaos, a theology in the midst of a constant flux and marked by migration and expulsion. I do so as a queer and hybrid theologian. I am a Mexican, gay, HIV‐positive Dominican brother from the US Southern Dominican Province. I was born in the borderland of Mexicali, Baja California, near the monstrous wall (el muro) that divides Mexican and US territories. Vicissitudes of a Life Journey: Background It was not easy to be gay en la frontera (on the border). If we understand the term vicissitude as something that contains an internal paradox, that is, something that is simultaneously harsh and soft, sweet and sour, saddening and rejoicing, then I have experienced a life full of paradoxes. Back in the late sixties and early seventies, while growing up in Mexicali, I experienced the hardships of a violent macho culture. Although I believe I was aware of my gay orientation since early childhood, I nevertheless had to learn to hide it, make it invisible, and never talk about my homosexual feelings with family or friends. Hiding behind a mask offers protection within a hateful and unwelcoming environment. As an adolescent, I had to learn the discipline of masking my sexual orientation in order to be accepted. But I still enjoyed a supportive life growing up in la frontera. I experienced real love and caring from my parents and family, knowing that they accepted me just the way I am. We seldom talked about sexuality at home, yet I am grateful for the love my parents, family, and close friends showed through their actions. Living between Mexicali and Calexico made me aware of borders and walls. We Mexicans have never been fully accepted on the other side of the border, since for most US citizens we are the Other. Yet, we are nonetheless a valuable commodity for the US economic growth, as customers as well as laborers under harsh and abusive conditions. I became used to the constant flux of people coming and going from Mexico to the United States. Some were crossing the border with documents, but many without, looking for some improvement or following the fictitious dream of the American way of life. Others crossed the border to escape persecution and harassment, including many gay Latinos and lesbian Latinas who moved away from their homelands where they suffered discrimination. My life drastically changed at the age of 17 when I moved from my small border town to Mexico City. Perhaps escaping from my own sexuality—although we never fully know God’s deepest intentions—I joined the Mexican Dominicans. Since early childhood, as a Catholic I was deeply drawn toward God and the sacred, liturgical performance, community making, and the intertwining of faith and reason. My home parish was run by Dominicans, and since the age of 12 I studied pastoral and liturgical theology, church history, and the Bible. A true sense of mystery spoke to my vocation of responding to an earlier call to God’s voice and sharing God’s message of love and compassion with others. However, at that time, some of the Mexican Dominicans in charge of formation were ruthlessly homophobic, and I ended up leaving the Dominican community as I was beginning to accept my homosexuality. James Alison, a gay Catholic priest...