This study explores the self-reflective transformation of the researcher during the research process by examining local youth volunteers at a youth center in Laos, Southeast Asia. The study employs auto-ethnography to analyze this transformation by deconstructing autobiographical experiences and interpreting their meaning. The primary data for this study consists of the researcher's reflection note (field notes) from the initial field visit in 2019 to the conclusion of the study in 2024. The researcher applied the deconstructive approach proposed by Pinar et al. (1995), based on Derrida’s (1967) concept, structuring the analysis into three stages: “discovering the text,” “reading the text,” and “writing the text.” Through this deconstructive reflection, the study demonstrates that the researcher was not merely an observer in the field but became an active participant, engaging in relationships with research participants while re-evaluating and adjusting personal perceptions and attitudes. This transformation is narrated through three stages: Phuak-Khao (They), Jao (You), and Phuak-Hao (We), illustrating the process in which the researcher initially distanced themselves from the research subjects, then engaged with them through interactions, and ultimately formed a communal identity. The findings of this study provide three key implications. First, cross-cultural research experiences induce self-reflection in researchers, leading to shifts in their perception and the discovery of appropriate research approaches. Second, the researcher’s reflective transformation aligns with Joo Jaehong(2021) proposed process of deconstructive cross-cultural understanding. Third, life history research, as utilized in this study, demonstrates the potential of experiential learning as an educational process, reaffirming the educational significance of autobiographical experiences.
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