IN THIS WORK I INTERROGATE MY LOCATION AS PHOTOGRAPHER while making pictures of Jake as he transitioned from female to male. At time Jake asked me to photograph his sex change in 1996, his name was Deb. Having never heard of gender dysphoria, state of mind which characterizes desire for gender reassignment, I was naive about complexity or intensity of process. What part did my own subjectivity, as a fiftyish black heterosexual woman from Southeast, play in constructing images of a thirtyish white Midwestern lesbian who was working to become a heterosexual man? The concept of changing one's identity was not new to me. While growing up I'd heard stories about slaves escaping to become free and light skinned blacks passing for white. In 1848, a woman named Ellen Craft did both. In her husband's 1860 narrative about their journey, he wrote, It occurred to me that, as my wife was nearly white, I might get her to disguise herself as an invalid gentleman, and assume to be my master, while I could attend as his slave, and that in this manner we might effect our escape. For Crafts, crossing Mason Dixon line was contingent on Ellen successfully crossing boundaries of black to white, slave to owner, woman to man and wife to master. The history of passing, its assumption of fraudulently trespassing, and its question of authenticity seemed to parallel Jake's quest. But from stories he told me about middle class life in Indiana and his parents' opposition to ending defacto (by practice) racial segregation in public schools he attended, I got impression that he did not relate his situation to that of blacks. Even before Civil Rights Movement was being shaped in 1950s, my mother had made the fight for racial equality part of our lives. I never forgot my feelings of rage when confessed kidnappers of Emmett Till were acquitted. He was fourteen-year-old black boy who was beaten, shot in head and thrown in Tallahatchie River because he spoke to a white woman in Money, Mississippi. This event is just one of many which marks my work. Although Jake's act had its own value and meaning, it was not my issue and I was wary of ethical and political violence inherent in speaking for others. On top of that, Jake wanted to be kind of man who embraced patriarchal and misogynistic values. Why would I, a black feminist, choose to work with a person who had Jake's values? The answer lies in having always lived and worked with people who are racist and/or sexist. Within this was formed my blueprint for self-destruction and survival. Grudgingly I have had to admit that each of us is more complicated than our labels would imply. Admittedly, I had a hard time understanding why Jake could not remain masculine female which he had been, but I halfway understood impulse to want to fit into mainstream culture. From beginning I felt conflicted in my role as a documentary photographer. For one thing it was not my field of work. In order to understand and perhaps resolve being at odds in my role as interpreter of Jake's process, I taped our dialogues, researched transsexuality and maintained a personal journal. My photographic objective was to show body's physical alterations. I saw my 4 x 5 view camera as a tool to create visual evidence of body's transformation. In our second photo shoot, I asked Jake to disrobe. Since he had seemed so relaxed, his discomfort in undressing in front of camera threw me off a bit. Embarrassed to see his agonizing self-consciousness, I felt thrust into role of voyeur. I averted my gaze, gave him some privacy by not looking straight at him. Thinking reflection, reflecting, I turned my camera towards dresser mirror. That session was probably most difficult one for Jake. …